it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize