Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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