If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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