I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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