i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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