Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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(513): Oh no, it isn't official until she poops. http://tfl.nu/gc75

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(646): View more from New York

So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?

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(646): So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name? http://tfl.nu/3tte

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(208): View more from Idaho

Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

(1-208): View more from Idaho

What is a GED?

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(208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3

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(207): View more from Maine

so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you

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(207): so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you http://tfl.nu/yn2g

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(845): View more from New York

Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

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(845): Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success http://tfl.nu/8g5x

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(602): View more from Arizona

I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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(602): I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again. http://tfl.nu/a40p

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(903): View more from Texas

Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.

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(903): Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication. http://tfl.nu/g1e0

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .

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(902): New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever . http://tfl.nu/6kwm

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(438): View more from Quebec

My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.

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(438): My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much. http://tfl.nu/ekca

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(217): View more from Illinois

Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?

(1-217): View more from Illinois

Vomiting outside the employee entrance

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(217): Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me? (1-217): Vomiting outside the employee entrance http://tfl.nu/gco9

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(804): View more from Virginia

They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

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(804): They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source. http://tfl.nu/hphy

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(218): View more from Minnesota

At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?

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(218): At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me? http://tfl.nu/x27k

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I've literally never felt worse

(203): View more from Connecticut

My body feels like its decomposing

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(203): I've literally never felt worse (203): My body feels like its decomposing http://tfl.nu/4u06

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(805): View more from California

Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.

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(805): Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered. http://tfl.nu/wect

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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(304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8

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