I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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