Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize