My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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