I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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