omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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