I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize