Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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