he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize