I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize