Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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