Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize