I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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