Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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