Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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