Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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