just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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