I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize