At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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