dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize