Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize