I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I bet he comes in French.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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