She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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