There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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