i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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