the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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