I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize