They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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