I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize