Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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