Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize