I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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