Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
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In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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