literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize