And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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