There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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