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big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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