yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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