can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Are my feet made of real feet?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize