if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
we made out on top of his cat.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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