Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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