Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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