We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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