Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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