its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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